almost tears

just watched a powerful program about the blitz on channel 4, really good set of stories from people who survived the night of 29th december 1940, it seems that the attack on london that night was the first time insendury bombs were used... bombs that start fires that are then turned into a firestorm that completely destroys the target... a technique that britain used later on to kill hundreds of thousands of germans particularly in dresden but in many cities in germany... the subject of WC Sebalds book on the natural history of destruction which i read earlier this year and the end by Hans Erich Nossack about Hamburgs destruction written shortly after the war by a survivor...

the german bombers on this night did not return as they had planned to complete the destruction because of adverse weather conditions, so only 163 people died instead of the 100,000's killed in the british raids on germany... and st paul's cathedral remained standing.

i found myself moved almost to tears by the program, that feeling of the ground you're stood on falling away from you inside but without the deluge of tears...

a few things make today one of those days when i'm close to tears anyway, the main reason being that i'm short on sleep... was watching a program last night about the suez canal crisis when i should have been preparing my lesson for today so i didn't get all the bedtime i needed...

it was such a killer of a day today in london, i taught in the morning and then stooged down by the river in the glorious sunshine of the afternoon, low tide and many pools of water and sea birds to take pictures of...

i then cycled up through town and stopped in a couple of parks to film the sunlight on the leaves of the trees, ending up in that square outside the renoir cinema with that enormous tree that i've come to love...


rested my camera in the elbow of a branch to video more sky/leaves when my dad rang and i arranged to go meet him for a cup of tea in ray's jazz in foyles...
we came home after this (me on my bike, he on the tube) and we had another tea waiting to set off to meet felinity, spski came in from work and it pleased me no end that we had a nice conversation, dad's dad had been the gardener @ chequers - the prime ministers country residence - until 1979, an area spski knows a little from mountain biking around there...

a similar moment of almost tears came as i sat around our kitchen table watching spski and dad talk...

we met felinity and we three ate in jai krishna's the fantastic vegetarian indian restaurant on stroud green road... i'm meeting felinity next week to go to the pictures and i hope both mum & dad will be in london again within the month, only brother D missing if mum comes next time...

and finally about my lesson this morning, taught partly by my new apprentice J - who is an old friend of another friend funnily enough, having him in the lesson just beginning to teach is interesting for the contrast it throws on my teaching, not that he's a bad teacher, just inexperienced for now which is why he's on the apprenticeship... as well as enjoying having him there (he's a lovely guy) it's nice to be reminded that i'm good at what i do...

x