wind & rain & fresh music & love

so as i was leaving the house today, after a very satisfying, long, long sleep, i was toying with the idea of my jacket, in the end i did wear it.

and it was an insanely jacket-necessary day.

by 3:30, when the school kicked out, the mad, mad wind had been joined by rain, rain, rain.

got picked up by work K, to go to hers and mark, (the non stop gigging weekend was immediately followed by the non stop marking week - marked with work S last night)... get it all done, i touch on my work troubles with her, she gives a measured response, seeming to confirm that she's knowingly involved in said woes.

then i talk to my sister whilst on the bus out of there, she of "just spent a grand on a mac" fame. just as i'm telling her about birthday plans with E, E phones, unsettles me no end, asking for fuel, of the type i so wanted nothing more to do with on my kingdom of my youth walk. also that she'd larged it up with D recently on similar stuff, vaguely unsettling, not sure why...

anyway, more sister talk gets me off the bus at london bridge and i'm shivering, and wierd. i sort myself out, walk along the river for quite some way, as far as the national theatre, before P rings and i head back towards the rehearsal, 29, the killer hiphop band who played both times i've been in the metro, were rehearsing in our space, a little bit of arrangement and it all worked out amicably.

but that walk, grey skies, sometimes biting wind, wet and cold, walking like i had some real purpose, walking those strange thoughts out from under my feet.

then finally the rehearsal, went through some olds but mainly checked out 4 news, felt fresh, once more challenging my leaving head state. good for it to be challenged. still up in the air. if i can more often have this great feeling in the band, creative, positive, rather than jaded and negative, then maybe i don't need to leave?...?

and then when i get home balthazara is singing a wierd song at her catflap, and after a while it becomes clear that there is some rival cat out there, now that we feed her i guess there is more of a risk of rivals coming in, not that it's there yet. balthazara now on my lap, purring. before, turning off lights, going into other rooms to look out of other windows to see this rival, white and black. feel very protective of my cat, want her to feel my love as support for her territorial struggles, now she's nuzzling my nose and my fingers as they dance over this keyboard... love love love love love....

x