double life frazzled edges coincidence

saw spiderman 2,
 
loved it.
 
much better than the first one, less obvious cgi, better story, alfred molina much better than willem dafoe as the baddy.
 
a little worn around the edges (me) so i loved it all the more, close to tears at times (no news there).
 
went to the party in blewbury last night, my sister K & her G came too. they arrived late and i'd got chatting to a nice young woman and her mum, and her mum's fella (D). this indonesian band were playing at the point when they came so this all happened in slow motion with our attention elsewhere. N (the girl) & K kept missing each other so i didn't introduce them for a little while, but when i did i was fumbling for D's name, mistakenly calling him trevor at first, confused by that awkwardness i was very confused when G went up to D & hugged him. after a while D said "the last time i saw these 2 was in durban",... and that was that, very odd coincidence. D is an old friend of G's parents. G & K had indeed met D in durban when they were out there a couple of months ago.
 
odd that K, G & D should all be @ that party in blewbury together. odder still that i happened to get chatting with N & therefore was in a position to introduce them. the whole episode twisted my head right up.
 
K & G left around 1:30 ish. i almost went with them, said a few goodbyes then ended up staying (strange habit i've fallen into before). in fact i stayed right through to the next morning, finally getting to bed around 5:30, hence my ragged edges today. saw some people i knew but also met a fair few people. when i'm vulnerable, (& i sure am vulnerable these days), it is a double edged sword meeting people at parties, low confidence always an option, means i'm sometimes vibrant sometimes quiet, strange face to show strangers. doubts can be fed, but beauty can be discovered too. a few of the indonesian musicians stayed up with guitars singing covers, really lovely, M (old friend) reckoned they didn't understand all the words just copied them phonetically. strange thought watching them sing really emotional songs. i felt muted as ever with no keyboard but i got over it & sang for all we know  unaccompanied. just as i'd done that night in manolis's last autumn, dissapointed over the missed tea date with the woman who i later wrote on my mind for, (still haven't sung it to her). trampolined too, while drunk, with others, all sense of control going, drifting from order to chaos and back again. very odd.
 
x