the twins

it was about an hour before the party on saturday night,

i realised we didn't have enough loo roll to last us the night so i jumped on my bike and raced over to waitrose.

i had 2 strawberry & banana innocent smoothies & 2 12 packs of nouvelle recycled toilet paper...

and i bumped into 2 twins.

dressed exactly alike, two men, in the 70's maybe older, they were accompanied by a woman but i didn't see her until about 15 minutes later...

i asked them: are you twins? (obvious question)

oh yes they replied, and proceeded to bend my ear for a good long while, two of the many stories they told me i repeat below... in the telling of the stories they kept interrupting each other to get the story across...

spski says he's seen them, i think it would be hard to miss them.

two facts:

they were tweedledum and tweedledee in the 1972 film of alice's adventures in wonderland.

they've done variety performances with all kinds of famous people, for example frank sinatra.

two stories:

frank sinatra was a wonderful man, he never used a dressing room, just came in through the double doors at the back of the theatre, straight through the doors onto the stage, only ever spoke to his two bodyguards... this was the kind of man he was... he was performing one time, the stage in darkness, the spotlight (here he stops and asks me if i know what a spotlight is) trained on him as he sings a ballad. a fly is circling in the light and he stops singing for a moment, reaches out to grab the fly, kills it, and carries on as if nothing had happened...

last week we visited the queen, yes we've visited her 8 times now you know, yes more than anyone else i think... well one time we were there and prince andrew came up to us and asked us if we would dance for princess margaret, well they always have a lovely spread at these things and we said yes we would dance, and then max bygraves pipes up and says well if the twins are dancing i'll sing, so we say oh well max if you're singing we're dancing, then norman wisdom says that if we're dancing and max is singing then he'll dance between us...

all the time they were talking to me they were bursting into song and dance numbers, i finally managed to say goodbye to them, i've got their address and i intend to visit them, as i was heading off down the aisle they were waving and saying goodbye and then they were saying, come on everyone, wave to R, bye R...

has to be my wierdest trip to waitrose so far, i told bo about them and she's very keen to come with me when i visit them, i'll keep you posted...

x