almost over 2004

& the number of casualties from the tsunami keeps growing and growing, 11000 the day it first hit the news, now it's 125000...

not that i have anything intelligent to say on the subject just disbelieve.

i'm @ home and i intend to be @ home all night, my first new years eve without a party for awhile, last year i was in kinsale in ireland playing a gig with KYO, then onto a party by the sea, lovely, mad, mad & lovely...

this year just me & P, a little psilocybin, some crayons, a lovely chocolate cake, music, candles,...

what else is there ladies and gentlemen?

x

home again

lying awake last night in my sister K's house, (why doesn't she have a proper pseudonym?, (is that how you spell that word?)), worrying about my friend bo because of something josiah had said at her drunkest on tuesday night (alongside threatening to kill P if she hurts me... several times), i got out of bed (another K in K's house, not there and kindly let me sleep in her bed), popped down to get my arnica from my coat pocket, did a couple, then went back to bed and read a little of the pessoa book.

it struck me that if there had been blogging in 1930's portugal then he would have been a blogger, The Book of Disquiet is written as though it were a blog, roughly 450 entries, not really relating to each other, no story that unfolds, just many, many moments, very beautiful, last night as i couldn't sleep the entries concerned not sleeping, (by coincidence)...

i came to K's straight from Brighton where i'd been visiting with grace & josiah with P, josiah had been spending christmas staying in the house of Y & M, Y being a teacher i work with on fridays, grace called me uncle R when we arrived in Brighton, just once or perhaps twice, then reverted to Wa Ha for the rest of the trip. she can walk, very unsteadily, but she can do it, i think she walks a little like a scarecrow.

P had never seen a pebbled beach before...

me & K went for brunch today in wandsworth and had we had time we would certainly have walked upon the common which was very inviting, we saw shaun of the dead & elf last night on DVD, they were great, it was lovely to see K, hope to walk on commons with her in the future.

and i saw E this afternoon, cups of tea and then gin, left me a little melancholy, drifted around town getting a few things, fell into a conversation in a sainsburies because i was playing chess on my phone, a game called chess buddy which i downloaded for the princely sum of £3 yesterday on the train, i've beaten it twice it's beaten me (at least) twice, it's on easy mode,

P beat me at chess!

on monday night, the first time, we've been playing on gameknot alot and her rating has gone right down because i keep beating her, she's learning fast..

glad to be home,

x

home (london town)

and P's on her way round in a little bit, then me & her popping down to Brighton for one night to see Josiah & Grace, can't wait to see my goddaughter, but more so i cannot WAIT to see my lover.

had a lovely time with the family, slept alot, ate loads, particularly ate lots of nuts, spent many an hour gazing at a quiz set by the blewbury bulletin, crossword type puzzle hell...

anyway this is just brief, gotta jump in the shower & get myself clean for my lady,

I HAVE SEINFELD!!!!!

(i know you know, i'm just pleased again)

x

seinfeld elf

a small bit of christmas intrigue when i said to K (sis) that my only fear was that she had got me the same present that i got her...

this small frisson turned into intense curiousity as she started feeling the width of my present to her, the next stage was logic, i reached my conclusion as to my present and she worked out what hers was...

today we discovered that we were right, and i have to say she did better than me, elf was fantastic when we saw it last christmas but seinfeld is a long distance winner, just tried to watch the first episode (of series 3) but the christmasy banter and noise meant we had to abort, seinfeld far too serious to be misheard...

other DVD plans this christmas include the remaining episodes of spaced, maybe harvey, the james stewart film that i got for my mum, and really want to see....

i miss P,

spent a lovely night with my old friend M, blewbury resident, smoking a narguille, drinking, although i'm still in low gear with drinking, even over christmas, spoke to josiah & grace while playing the piano, got a nice little something going that comes from a slightly mathematical place...

and i finished saramago's The History of the Seige of Lisbon on the train here, lovely, absolutely stunning in parts, i've started The Book of Disquiet by fellow portugeuse author Fernando Pessoa, bought for me originally by E, never read all the way through, round two.

x

bach in my ears love in my stomach

no blogging for a little while, had P round for a few days which has been heavenly, she's playing bach's prelude in C major on my fender rhodes as i write this and i feel like a teenager at the prospect of not seeing her for three days as i go home for christmas,

we went to see die family schneider on wednesday night, freaked us out a fair bit, propelled us into londons early evening, quite magical strolling from whitechapel, through the barbican and it's highwalks, eventually to chancery lane, a church that i love, (the one that used to have a piano), we didn't go into the beautiful lower chapel, there was an office party in full swing, just loitered a little round the edges,

just recorded angels egg by gong into my computer so i can return the vinyl to my brother, spent hours last night watching spaced for a similar reason,

will be late as ever catching the train home, must get out fairly soon,

x

spaced glee harmonic experience

when i visited my brother on friday night i borrowed a few things, a gong album called angels egg and both series of spaced on DVD, which i started to watch tonight when i got in from the pub, where i was meeting D, finally we managed to meet after three cancellations (one his, two mine).

spaced is fantastic. such glee it gives me, i hope i'm going to get to watch both DVD's before christmas when i see him again, then maybe find a way to see shaun of the dead after that.

really nice to see D, his cancellation (the first) was the impetus for me to invite out P, i bought him a pint for that. he told me about an interesting take on music education by this guy Bill Mat... something, french guy... found this on the internet:

The rules of music -- including counterpoint and harmony -- were not formed in our brains but in the resonance chambers of our bodies.
~ William Allaudin (W.A.) Mathieu, Harmonic Experience: Tonal Harmony From Its Natural Origins to Its Modern Expression (1997).

so that's pretty interesting, the book looks really expensive ($50) but as P pointed out to me in the 99p shop, it's not that these things are cheap, it's that the pound is strong. $50 is about £25 at the moment.

third of a century

coming back today i was looking through my pictures on my phone, tracing what day i'd taken them, tracing in my brain the history of this brief romance i'm currently involved in... brief being what it is now, but not necessarily what it will become...

i was coming back to london after seeing my brother D, his 33 & a 3rd birthday party, a third of a century, with his girlfriend M turning a quarter of a century in less than a month, we also saw the incredibles this morning which meant getting up earlier than i would of, still short on sleep, the film that much more affecting therefore, shed a few tears as animated superheroes risked life and limn, very moonraker in places, very good.

the party last night was lovely, i'd picked up a few long playing records on my way out of here on friday morning, a strange selection but one that proved pretty appropriate in the end, even got three sinatra tunes in there from only the lonely, as well as john martyn and of course portishead, van the man also showed his face from my bag.

turned out to be really couply, all of D's friends in couples who were there, me with no tall, dark beauty on my arm, she's on her way here now i hope...

just really nice time to be had it was, good talking, good music, added to which i finished work yesterday, i ran up to leamington spa immediately afterwards so it still hasn't really sunk in but it's there in the back of my mind...

so tonight we're going to see the last night of love & understanding, see my handiwork put to use, all the work that everyone has done to make it a groovy little thing, i'm really looking forward to completely being in the audience with no responsibility, and also to being out with P, possible dancing opportunity after (& she loves to dance), possibly seeing B before - the director of bash, although the matinee just finished and i doubt he'll hang around that long,...

anyway, glad to be home, can't wait to see my lover...

x

portishead vinyl poetry

essays marked provisionally, awaiting moderation phone call with my fellow teacher, listening to Roads by portishead which so kills me, always has...

spent a delicious morning with P lounging around listening to this whole album (dummy) for the first time in ages, considering emailing portishead and asking them if they'll do a gig for us, just us if necessary... at the same time showed her On The Mountain by Thomas Bernard, which i bought on the same day i bought this album years back when i was living at home with my family, around the time my dad retired... last night we'd spent some time reading poetry, she'd found a copy of poems on the undergound on my bookshelf that i didn't know i had, finding all those poems that have struck me over the years... so today, lying in bed, both reading from the Thomas Bernard book, how great it is still, she really dug it, how much does that please me?

listening to vinyl, so many records i've been yearning for, moondance by van morrison has been eluding me for a couple of days since i plugged the record player in again, wanted it ever since i saw that episode of The Sopranos with that tune in it...

x

very briefly

about to get down to round two of marking essays, but aside from that i am free, free of the play, all that effort and time and now it's running all on it's own, met with C yesterday, the operator they found right at the last minute, took him through the doings, my music, my sounds, (well, some of them were mine), and the opening night was last night, i'm going with P on saturday night,

P, finally she has a name here in this blog, maybe she had one before but she's been her, she, beautiful woman for awhile, a week and a half and now she's P, (she is soooo lovely)...

anyway, later, when i've marked these essays...

x

folly

just about to find out if what i'm doing now is a waste of time, i'm going to be very short on sleep tomorrow, pretty short on sleep today but i'm getting better at sleeping with my lover which is a skill that i often forget.

we had the tech rehearsal for the play today, when i could have been hanging out with her, these things demand time from us and i guess i'm glad of it, what am i saying of course i'm glad of it, it stretches my skills... that's always a good thing,

the river sound i recorded was not appropriate for one of the scenes that it's needed for so i've been eq'ing it and chopping it up and messing with it until it works, this thing i'm doing now i realise i've miscalculated slightly so i'm redoing it now...

creating a varied loop of the river thames, all the sounds i (& she, remotely) could find on the internet were not really right...

still got a fair bit of work to do even when this river is done,

i guess i'll be in bed by 4 (well i hope so),

up at 7:30, that'll be 3 and a half hours sleep...

and i could have saved myself some time by doing that differently,... oh well, always the way, when you need to be getting on quickly because you need your sleep you are befuddled by sleep deprivation, the name of several of my tunes of yesteryear...

was due to be meeting D the D tomorrow night, having cancelled him last week to spend time with her, him having cancelled me the week before which was the impetus for me to ask her out for a drink, tomorrow night i've been roped into more stuff for the play so a genuine excuse... maybe i'll see him before the year is out, next monday is currently our plan.

funnily enough, the event which named him D the D was a band rehearsal that S in this play was at, she being one of the singers in that band all those years ago... odd how these thing loop wierdly...

anyway, more work calls,

x

multitasking even though i'm a man

after work today i went down to the river and it was lowtide fortunately,

having finished the music for the show i've turned my last minute attention to the sound effects that i've reluctantly taken on organising, it was reluctant but please don't think that i didn't love doing what i did earlier tonight,

i'm listening to it now as i record it into my computer, 5 minutes left of this particular session, me wandering about with my microphone pointed at the water, left my hand really cold.

i think i got what i needed but it's hard to say at this point,

i'm also messaging with her and playing chess with her, answering text messages on and adhoc basis.... ooo this bit with those dogs in the distance, or one dog being echoed...

i so love that world down by the water, i so love evoking that world now by listening to the recording i made, it is for a specific purpose in the play but just for my pleasure and possible future creativity with sound...

normalising now,

this beautiful woman who i'm playing at chess is a little sick so we're communicating over the internet instead of her being right here so i'm slightly sad, in that way that you value every second of being together in this exciting time, but it's also good to be apart tonight, gives me time to work on these sounds...

this blessed time though, the excitement of the first week...

x

not now kato

so i went to overtones to record the music for love & understanding and it's all done now, i still have to find sound effects and work out how all that is going to work but the music is down, in fact i've just reminded myself of it and i'm amazed i haven't been listening to it... of course i've put it on now, this dreamy improvised introduction,...

F engineered for me and she is fantastic, so sweet, really pleased to have her back in my life, i hope to do more work there, beautiful piano, the dog kato was an endearing presence.

shared my day off yesterday with... couldn't have made me any happier.

x

smooth ride

anything but for me recently, haven't caught up on my sleep yet after my horrendous thursday night / friday,

it's been beautiful though,

a warm breath from a beautiful person is on my skin and i'm lucky.

on sunday i went to waitrose.

on sunday a few things happened but that allusion above is all you're getting beyond waitrose.

my shopping trolley was a real smooth ride.

i felt like i was about 10, or maybe 15, i glided through the shelves as they emptied, i gracefully wove my way through the just before closing madness, it was like i was in crouching tiger hidden dragon, all that wire stuff, characters wafting through the air, putting my weight on my hands and floating down the aisles...

it was a point of stillness within the wirlwind of my weekend...

so now i'm going to bed and catch up on my much needed...

(she's so nice)

x

action shot from the day before me & P began 

snapshot

grace is asleep in my bed, her mum is arriving sometime around 4am now,

i've been instant messenging with this lovely new friend for hours and hours and hours, now we're playing chess,

i'm a little ill, spent two nights ago awake all night, throwing up, alcohol related but not only that, triggered by 2 3rds of a pint of guinness on thursday night after sitting for several hours in a cold, cold theatre watching the first run through of the play,

got chatting to an illustrator on the tube home who had the pleasure of watching me fall into sickness,

both nights before that i'd been drinking, not really eating properly, but still, it was over and above the punishment i deserved, i reckon i've got some further thing weighing me down,

another run tomorrow, got much to do about the writing which should be over by wednesday,

not eating right yet but intend to rectify, sat in the amazon with grace this afternoon and i couldn't eat my usual...? very odd, although of course i'm hungry now, in the middle of the night with my 15 month old goddaughter asleep in my bed...

x

the gift of sight

so i went out into the world with my 7-year old glasses on, and here i am back at home with my brand new glasses on..

new prescription which means i can see EVERYTHING, it's damn kookie.

it was a beautiful day as well, i left it a bit late, which meant that by the time i had these on the daylight was already fading, i got a bus full of schoolkids doing their rebellious thing, up to my landlords, had a sort of an argument with work who phoned about something to do with tomorrows lesson, something about their wording made me feel angry... so i arrived at my landlords a bit riled...

i sat down at the piano still thinking about it, started playing, gradually surfaced to find myself playing some really nice chords, i stayed with it awhile and i got a lovely, lovely thing started, simple, building.

lovely

x

slow day ahead of me, a luxury i like

got drunk again last night, mojito's this time, work christmas do, terrible vegetarian food, nice time,

the saramago book is gradually becoming great, the other one i read by him blathazar and blimunda was good, great in places,

i may go round to my landlords to play his piano, i need to shift a few things in the music for the play which i'm going to see a run of tonight,

also i've been thinking alot about recording the 4-piece, i spoke to S the other day after a long, long run of answerphone tennis spreading over 2 months, i'd done a session for her track back in... i don't know maybe may? i'm getting a vinyl copy of that track in the post soon, the artist name is Tominaga i think.

she mentioned to me that overtones studio have a lovely grand piano and they're pretty cheap, this in relation to the solo piano theatre music, then we started to talk about the 4-piece slotting ideas in and out of it... it would be tricky in there but possible,

then two conversations last night at the work do, one at the end with E, who was the voice and sax player all those months back @ this jam session, she reminded me about the LMC's studio down in brixton, they have a steinway grand piano, it would be about recording it all together i guess but possible.

the other conversation was with G the technology tutor, he's just bought a mobile studio setup and he wants to check it out so i suggested the 4-piece as a little recording project, we'd take the stuff over to my landlords probably and do it there. he has 8 inputs possible easily, if we have 2 mics getting the overall sound, then 2 mics on the piano, 1 from everyone else, (including voice).... we've tentativley set a date for early febuary.

he's committed to doing at least one track, so i'd record harbour walls first,..

hmmmmm, just thinking about it,

but i have to get the band rolling again for that to happen, and it would be really great to get a performance in before any recording to get us tighter, i haven't got that band together for awhile now, still a few things i need to resolve, this is another impetus for that.

lovely to see josiah & grace yesterday, grace came round for a little while so that her mum could go and sort some stuff out. i sang her harbour walls again which is great, the verse being very akin to the song i sing to her, origin of my wa ha name. she can now go up and DOWN stairs, also she stands without support every now and again, although i didn't witness it too much i'll no doubt see a whole lot more when i have her on saturday.

x

no drink then drink

so i was supposed to meet with D tonight after teaching but after my class i checked my phone and there were a couple of messages from him bailing out, feeling rough... left me a little disappointed as i went to the tube, had loads of messages on my phone which i was listening too as i went underground, borough station has an obscure property that there is mobile phone connection even at the level of the platforms (if you're close enough to the lift),

i heard a train go as i was listening to a long message from the director, i got to the platform eventually and it seemed there was a long wait in order...

got out the history of the seige of lisbon by jose saramago which had confused me somewhat when i read the opening chapter this morning, about to get into it when...

P walks up, strange actually because this was exactly where we met by accident last week, (julio cortazar would love us), we journeyed north together and had a drink, had several drinks...

very nice,

missed my stop on my busride home as i was actually getting into the book, meeting with josiah tomorrow, gonna see my goddaughter, bed calls, bombay sapphire gin ladies and gentlemen, bombay sapphire gin...

x