dead growth keeping cat

a few hours before A comes round, gonna set up a little more of my studio, just wandering about the length of my finger nails, beard and hair.

i've developed a taste for more expensive haircuts (£11 rather than £5), so i've had to wait until now for my haircut, planning to go monday or tuesday, at least a month after my last cut. laziness and a slight depression keep me from shaving, this is a weeks growth, fingernails i don't know what governs my behaviour there.

so i'm about to cut all this down to size and i'm just thinking about it, all this dead stuff "growing" on me.

josiah says she likes the beard, it's soft, her daughter grace has chickenpox which is a sad thing in my life - i haven't had it and it means i can't hold her, my god daughter. also hard because it's hard for her mum, and i can't really be there to help her, sleepless nights, but a beard? come on, i'm 30 years old not 40.

and you know i used to have long hair, longer than this, longer by a long way as well... maybe i won't cut it just yet?

lovely to see josiah and grace today, even though i can't hold her, she turned 9 months on thursday. covered in spots, but smiling still, apparently she wasn't smiling the last couple of days but she's alright today. she claps her hands properly now, both hands open, even makes a tiny sound. and she speaks her grace language, quite a joy to behold.

almost went to see the black rider again today, but stayed in bed instead, very nice it was too, the last day so C had some comps for the matinee, and another C came round and left a note saying did we want to keep dolly the cat? dolly being their name for balthazara, who most of my house call tibbsy. dolly daydream. which i guess means i'm going to have to start feeding her, they have lived a few doors away and have continued feeding her whilst she comes here for affection, but they're moving away... of course we want to keep balthazara.

x