haruki egg balancing godma G gone by now freedom

i get in around 5:30 - 6 am, sunday, put my clothes in the washing machine without turning it on, meaning to wake up in around 3 hours to set it going, then i crawl into bed and sleep that unpleasant non-sleep that i get every now and then, self-inflicted...

i rise @ 11:30 - do the laundry thing... get back into bed...

at 12:25 i get up again, i find cedric playing mandolin downstairs and invite him to join me trying to balance an egg on it's thin end in celebration of the equinox - an idea suggested to me as i trawled through hippy site after hippy site finding out about the 13moon calender, my hands are shaking after so little sleep but i somehow manage it, perhaps more to do with the pitted surface of our kitchen table than the forces of light and darkness in balance but pleasing none-the-less...

i get myself together and go out to see the faaamly... old friends galore meeting up for the first time in awhile, some of whom i see more than others, although even these ones i have been a little distant from more recently, there were some there i hadn't seen for 2 years... at one point i was sat in a line with the entire household of the kensal rise house we lived in for a few years about 5 years ago...

i skipped out early to pop into godma G's for a cup of tea, she who was only with us for this weekend and will be travelling back to amsterdam about now and who i had already seen the day before, as in fact i'd seen quite a few of the faaaamly...

being saturday... we had our first ever open day at college, went smoothly enough... beautiful day to be stuck inside, still wearing the huge coat P gave me... not so appropriate at midday, but oh so appropriate after work when i decided on a whim to skip down to brighton to see godma G with our mutual goddaughter grace, grace being her 2nd name - i'm cautious with people's names here in this blog - but godma G calls her grace anyway, her 2nd name too... a bit nippy wandering by the sea, glad of the coat, and G glad of my scarf (got it back on sunday from her), lovely to see josiah, really nice to have us all together - seeing josiah & grace on thursday as well this week...

me & G travelled back to london together and went to meet D before she went off to see the chemical brothers... only D was a little late so he directed us to a bar where we found E, bo, faaamly galore... all off to a party that i somehow found myself going to... really hadn't meant to be up all night...

all of us who had been at that party and were at the faamly gathering the next day were shadows really, most of them got really drunk, i stayed off the alcohol, as i already i left before them, off to hackney...

now on the way to the gathering on sunday i'd finished the philip k dick novel i'd been reading and on the way to hackney i found myself in a bookshop buying the new haruki murakami novel i've been holding off, i kind of intended to wait for the paperback but there was nothing for it on sunday... maybe because i'd found the book of disquiet so hard going, really refreshing to have the narrative drive of first philip k dick and then the wonderful murakami... having read everything i could of him a few years ago, this is a real treat, to have a new book by him now...

which i've had my nose in since then, reading it on the tube, in bed, whilst walking down the street... had my last day of work today and i was reading it when i came home, a distressing scene which i won't divulge, i was lying on my bed and i dropped off for a nap after reading this rather grim bit, then i woke up from one of my walking around dreams, not as bad as the dead of night ones that happen sometimes but pretty out there, the same menace as the scene in the book, part of the price i pay for partying like that on the weekend, these disturbing dreams almost always come within a week of a night out like that..