baby bird

7 days have passed since it ended with me & emivore and i'm trying to slightly ritualise this moment, kiss the memories as they pass so as not to be haunted by them...

i saw baby bird yesterday, i didn't have to work over in homerton so after CM in the morning i went over to SP of stepney and Kwo's to meet with the 2-week old...

grace, josiah & M came up as well so it was quite a big visit, grace was irrepressible and i found myself bearing the brunt of her while the grown up's talked...

the baby is wonderful and sp told me a story that i love - that perhaps one day i'll retell here, but not yet...

me & dinah are in communication again, i don't have a huge amount of space for her in my head just now but at least we're talking...

and the sons of anarchy are in my life... i got hold of the 1st season, thinking that the series currently on 5 USA was the 2nd... i was going to catch up with them and then watch them weekly...

they arrived on thursday and i've watched everything but the last episode now,

just checked though, and 1stly the 5 USA thing is this 1st series, so i've already over taken them, and it's shown on wednesday's @ 10, which is when madmen is shown over on BBC4, so that's not going to happen, it looks like i'm going to get hold of as much SOA as i can and consume it madly...

it has helped me this week, what with my small but definite heart break...

also i'm buying the thing i wanted... retail therapy which for once i can afford... but won't be able to afford anything else for a little while...

x

sometimes a hero comes along

what is that song?

no, not that song, this song... "i'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me"

anyway...

(unrequited's for losers...)

now, many years ago, i did my 1st ever tax retun, and it scared me, and i rang up a helpline...

a very nice man, very calmly told me what i had to do, what numbers to put in which boxes...

all very easy...

i love that man...

on thursday i was in brighton with grace & her mum & her 2 cousins...

my phone had stepped up it's irritating behaviour and i'd been threatening it for awhile (you're days are numbered, i'm getting a smartphone)...

so on thursday, this entire troop of people, large & small, went into the orange shop in brighton, and a very nice man gave me a new smart phone...

all very straight forward... i love a good bit of customer service...

these people are heroes...

but not only that...

my new smart phone is a hero...

i'm teetering on the brink of the smartphone way of life, just as soon as orange text me that they've enabled my internet...

x

yr3wk29 grace

yr3wk29 NY day moog, rhodes voice
Uploaded by longcathadroncollider

recorded on new years day but it took a few days to arrive here... i just got back from a night away with my lovely goddaughter and her fantastic mum...

me & grace hung out alot, going to the beach this afternoon to give josiah a chance to get something done, picking up pebbles, filming...

i also gave her a little keyboard lesson before i left, she's only 5 so it wasn't huge, just where is C... enough for now...

me and josiah stayed up until 5 last night talking and listening to music from 2003,

1st the concert we gave in july of that year with H on cello, in my ex'landlord's frontroom...

we were really good... she was very pregnant... (with grace)

then the concert from the same place in january, days before she found out she was pregnant... (with grace)...

then a studio CD made by the band i was in back then Kyo... a great band...

altogether very nice to see both of them in their own ways... and lovely to hear my own music from 6 years ago...

x

barack the builder

can we fix it?

Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther could stand.
Martin Luther stood so Obama could run.
Obama ran so our children could fly.

Rosa Parks sat so Martin L King could walk...
Martin walked so Obama could run...
Obama ran so all children can fly!

2 slightly different texts from 2 different black women i know, both who have a child... Nippy 1st @ 9:44am, then Josiah @ 12:59pm,

watched his speech just now, and it was good, although the bob the builder motif was a little distracting,

and it's true that an awful lot of hope is generated by this election,

and it has already become that much easier to see grace, or R as prime minister (josiah's & nippy's children), just because of the colour of barack obama's skin,

a huge change even just for that reason,

but i'm cautious, i remember tony blair getting to power and the hope that that represented for change, hope that was dashed in the end...

what can one man do against the way the world is?

but don't get me wrong i'm full of hope.... it's a great day x

glass books god daughter

rather typically i arrived at victoria with only moments to spare and as i was buying a ticket i could see my train pulling away,

meaning that i had 30 minutes to wait so i locked up the bike and went into smiths to get grace a book...

roald dahl compendium... too small writing it turned out, me forever thinking she's older/cleverer than she is...

got onto the train about 10 minutes before it was due to go and got out the glass books of the dream eaters which i've borrowed from floopy and is to be honest even more addictive than half-life 2 was last week...

pleasingly the main character of the 1st chapter got onto a train and just as my own train started moving, so did hers... i found myself looking around me to compare her surroundings to mine but there was no comparison... i did however really enjoy looking out of the window, at the sunlight on the grand buildings around victoria, very much bringing to mind half-life 2 somehow...

i found myself thinking how good it all looked - a moment away from thinking how realistic it all looked,

this reality sure is realistic...

anyway the train pulled into brighton eventually and i cycled along the undercliff path to the beach where it was going on... the only really out of towner this time...

fellow godparent S, josiah of course, her M, S's R, (& H, O, D) H 13 now and asking if he could ride my bike... of course i let him...

josiah's friend P and her R & C...

lovely time... much red wine drunk...

watching the sun set into the sea...

grace wonderful, couldn't quite believe that she's 5 now...

then back to josiah & grace's and some time more or less with grace, R & C... at one point walking around josiah's living room with all three of them dangling from me... so glad grace is in my life and very happy she's so accepting of me even though i only see her about once a year these days...

ovingdean

that's me & grace wandering into the sea from this saturday x

yr2wk13 rhodes & voice

recorded yesterday early evening, me & dinah shaping up to travel down to brighton today for grace's birthday - a few sleep stories i wanted to tell you but they'll have to wait x

yr2wk11 longcat with tony cannam & gareth mitchell: voice, guitar & keys improvisation

about to get on a train bound for brighton, go see my lovely grace and josiah, just waiting for last week's improvisation to upload, recorded last wednesday and only just got hold of the audio last night...

then tomorrow i'm going to see S d'S to talk about a course of his i'm taking over, and also to do this week's improvisation...

i was up this morning as ever filming the dawn project, beautiful day... then i travelled to W(floopy)shaman's new abode, as i always do post dawn project, only now he's a little further off... but only 15 minutes on the bike so nothing too strenuous...

ok, there it is x laters x

from saturday

x

waterlow park

we were just finishing off breakfast, me & grace, when there was someone at the door...

& it was G from next door, G who both me & dinah had been to see recently where she'd been... she's out and she's happy and she invited me & grace to a puppet show @ lauderdale house in waterlow park...

we arrived there @ 11ish and left the park around 4... lovely day spent with G, her daughter L & L's grandfather M... grace cycling on L's bike... feeding bread to the ducks... listening to the free festival that amnesty international was putting on in the park... saw a band called eskiimo who i dug... (grace put her hands over her ears and told me it was too loud)...

all very nice,

josiah has just been, nippy driving them both back to hers for the night, i'm in that strange post godfather lull... grace wet herself in the journey back home and because she was sat on me she wet me too...

i'm short on sleep and my baby is working her last ever session @ the producers right now... maybe i should nap for a little while...

x

13th weekly improvisation

grace asleep in my bed... dinah on her way home... a cup of tea in front of me...

i left the video uploading as i went down to brighton to get the girl... ah... there is the sound of my girlfriend getting in...

x

audioscrobbler grace & josiah gone

we lost an hour, but it's alright, time means not so much in this current phase of holiday...

grace & josiah stayed again last night, we had a lovely time, chilling out, popping out to the swimmer for a g & t, rolling over to jai for our customary feed... me & grace danced this morning to caetano veloso, my christmas cd from P (3 months late)... much piano playing also... posted some pictures to my flickr, for some reason i'm happy to show my face there, just not here - maybe that will change...

also found audioscrobbler courtesy of j_s, kookie things the internet gives us sometimes...

x