pissed

with that feeling of a disaster, not too far away these days, work started, alcohol seemingly common, 15 games of chess, shouldn't be playing now, loosing the games i'm paying attention to now, even after six feet under, still that dumbing down that alcohol gives you, josiah wearing the wig she wore that night over a year ago when she was so happy. reminding myself that it's not so bad, drink water, sleep. saw L (double bass) today, really nice. long way to go.

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