rhodes muse new tune

that beautiful electro acoustic instrument feeds me... i didn't know i was looking for love until i found it... i had forgotten how much it gives me & i am oh so glad to have it back in my life...

yes it would profit from the preamp being looked @ by the nice milton keynes man...

yes... that's true... but in the state it's in right now, which is pretty much the way it's been when it's been working for me in the past...

it is both muse and instrument... it calls forth music from me...

and since it's been working again - roughly the last 24 hours... i've written a new tune... well... i've got 2 sections chordwise and i've written a provisional melody for the chorus which is really nuts chordwise...

it may suit the voice of someone i met last week... it may suit my own voice... lyricly it may well talk about my feelings in relation to oncewassqueeze... it could turn into a spanner tune... it could be a longcat tune... it could be a tune from this identity i'm thinking about which uses my real name...

from me... if you will...

x

michael franks half of life

a circuitous route brought me to this singer this morning...

i got a phone call confirming that i wouldn't be seeing the person i was hoping i could see this week... and indeed i haven't seen her for a couple of weeks... and i won't see her now for another 2 weeks after this week..

a fact that i was told back when she found me on facebook... (do you want to meet? yes, but it's either this weekend or not for 5 - 6 weeks)... but which i didn't really take in back then...

so i said to myself... as i got out of bed (the phone call had woken me up),,, it's better to know than to not know... which brought the song positive into my mind... the michael franti tune that i had loved all those years ago (around the time she was in my life last time)...

so i fired up spotify and i tried to find the song... and spotify asked me if i meant michael franks... which pleased me immensely... part of the album "the art of tea" was on a cassette tape that my friend luke hedge made for me when were in the sixth form together... half my life ago...

naturally i wanted to hear that album now as well as the michael franti tune...

not that spotify could satisfy me on either score... spotify with it;s random holes...

however i used my other means and i got to hear everything i wanted in the end... except that the 1st time i downloaded the album, whoever i got it from had the wrong version of st elmo's fire... very odd, listening to the 1975 album of lovely wistful jazz (featuring the great joe sample on keys) and then being thrown into the 80's sound of john parr... most distressing... even though that tune was something i was fond of even further back than my liking for michael franks...

oh and... talking about half my life ago... on monday i passed through being exactly half as old as my dad... without realising it...

something i'd been thinking about for ages and which had sometimes been casting a dark shape over my emotions (uneasy comparisons between him then, me now, me being born, his 2nd son, me having no kids and no prospects right now)... and while it was going on i was saying goodbye to grace after 24 hours of her... having my ear syringed & thus ending the ear saga... generally feeling as though i was crossing a line in a few ways, but forgetful of the actual line i was crossing... only tonight, reading richard ford on the tube did i remember...

must ring dad tomorrow...

x

longcat in mono

about to go out and start the doctors process... register at the doctors on the corner, make an appointment for as soon as possible...

it's been a week and it hasn't cleared up so doctor bound am i... just as most of the women in my life are telling me to go there (sister, ex-girlfriend, long-lost-once-was-squeeze)...

so hopefully this will mean an end to this situation in the nearish future... but while it's here i want to mention a few facets of it...

1stly it's odd that i listen to most of my music these days through a mono speaker anyway... the TV is stereo and headphones (when i listen to music from my phone) are too but mostly i listen to music from my computer through spotify... (like i'm doing now, with the mono speaker on my left hand side, with the ear that works... lovely album by Bill Frisell, Paul Motion & Ron Carter)...

2ndly - it may be an illusion but i can hear my singing voice clearer now, so singing in tune is easier...

this is something to do with the background noise being more foreground i think... although i can't tell you why right now...

3rdly it has been very odd and a little like taking hallucinogenic drugs... in that i feel somewhat at odds with the world... at some distance from it... like the world is behind a sheet of glass...

and then there's the pain, when i yawn, swallow, that kind of thing, not all the time when i do these things but quite a lot of the time, and i've been taking pain killers but i don't know if they've been working...

and when i'm in pain, i become a much simpler human being... i can't deal with as much as i normally can and my world shrinks down to the space in my head...

ok 4thly... the space in my head... i have this odd movement of my jaw which i've been conscious of for a year or so now, i tend to do it when i'm lying down ready to sleep... i move my jaw so that i get a sensation of pushing against something... although i don't know what it is i'm pushing against...

only now, with this ear thing, i do the pushing thing and somehow one of my teeth - (whose filling fell out ages ago and i haven't been to the dentist about) connects with the pushy jaw thing which in turn connects with the ear pain, and it all hurts...

it's amazing... and irritating... i wish i could stop doing it... when both pains are there sometimes my brain interprets them both as a major third (2 musical pitches).. high up (because the pain is in my head)... i blogged about this sort of thing once before... hmmm... no, can't find it... anyway... must go to the doctors x